In case you don’t read the newspaper (you do read the actual news right, not that Hollywood bullshit on E?) the Boy Scouts of America have reaffirmed its ban on homosexual children from being members. Whatevs, I could not give less of a fuck. You may recall a post I did recently about the “Man Scouts of America” and this obligates me to come up with a statement for the press as well, since we are kind of a sister organization. But here at sexyasfuck we take a more liberal approach to homosexuality. My statement is this… We encourage all gay men to join and participate. “What?!?! Mr Sexyasfuck, are you fucking crazy? Gay men are pussies, right?” Prepare to learn…
First off… Gays are not all dudes. Some gays are chicks. Some gay chicks are smoking fucking hot. Your crossfit gym has social meetings where booze is served. Gay chicks make out. That is pretty cool. Yes, the chances of all those stars and planets to align just right are low, but hey, so are your chances of getting past the Crossfit Open next year, yet you are still going to try.
You have better odds of seeing this than you do of making regionals next year
Second… How many times have you seen a new girl join the gym, only to see her swarmed by 50 horny dudes on her first day. That bitch is surely not coming back for another workout. There is a reason pussy gyms like Gold’s have a womens’ only section. It is because of creepers like you. Gay dudes won’t be swarming that shit and then you can totally give her snatch advice without her thinking you want to plow her. Even though you totally want to plow her.
Third… Gay chicks are typically strong as fuck. I personally love it when a chick and me are going neck in neck on a metcon (no chick can outlift me… come on). When I see a chick catching me on a metcon I turn up the fucking heat. Anything that will make me better, even my own insecurity, is a great thing.
Fourth… Gay people typically dress really, really well. Maybe we will finally see an end to all the stupid shit you wear to your workouts.
Gay dudes would not let this guy workout like this
Fifth… Have you ever had a bro counting reps for you and suddenly lose track due to some crosslut bending over? Gay dudes will be totally focused on your sexy bod and will offer all kinds of honest pointers to help that physique.
Sixth… Unless you have 20 person classes on the regular you could always use a little more money. Coach Rudy Nielsen is the only dude I know of that can turn people away and still make more money than Mitt Romney.
In short, fuck you Boy Scouts of America. Way to exclude young kids from having fun. I hope terrorists rape your faces.